Just For Tonight
by WinchesterGal2015
Summary: Sam wants to talk about Ben and Lisa, and how what Dean did wasn't right, but Dean has something completely different on his mind, and when he acts upon it, realizes too late is a mistake. Wincest! T but there is a little sexual content in it.


**Just For Tonight**

Dean finished up one more shot before Sam dragged him away. Dean was barely tipsy though, and he didn't want to give up the drink, not till he was at that point to where he knew he'd have a killer headache in the morning. However, Sam threatened to leave him at the bar if he didn't come then so he had to leave. He had not gone to the motel room empty handed though; they stopped at a small liquor store to get him a drink.

"Please don't drink any more of that Dean." Sam pleaded.

"You're determined not to let me get drunk, aren't you?" Dean sighed, but he didn't pour another shot.

"Dean, I know how you're feeling right now, and I wish you'd talk to me." Sam told him.

Dean stood up from the table and grabbed the whiskey bottle. "I told you I don't want to talk about it." Then he sat down on his bed pouring shot after shot.

Sam knew he couldn't let his brother do this. He couldn't just ignore the pain and act like it never happened. He had to get his brother to talk about it, before Dean ended up in some sort of mental hospital. Sam went over to Dean's bed and sat down next to him. Dean's eyes following him the whole while he did so. He could try the same approach as before, but he was pretty sure Dean needed a bit softer of an approach.

He gently took the bottle out of Dean's hand and the shot glass next. He wanted to throw them against the wall, so he couldn't go back to them again, but he was pretty sure that wasn't how a soft approach worked. He then wrapped his arms around his older brother, and didn't let go till he felt Dean wrap his arms around him.

A single tear slid down Dean's cheek. Sam tightened his hug around his brother. Dean was unsure why until he heard what Sam said next. "We need to talk about Ben and Lisa." Dean was desperately trying to get out this hug, but he wasn't able to.

"No we don't. I don't want to talk about them EVER." Dean said.

"Dean please," Sam pleaded with him. Dean really just wanted to make good on his promise to Sam about punching him, but he nodded nonetheless and Sam let go.

"Why'd you do it Dean? You didn't even ask them if they wanted that. Which I'm pretty sure they did not, and neither did you."

"Sam, I couldn't keep screwing with their lives. I didn't want to have to keep worrying that a demon might one day kill them or take them to use against me." His head is in his hands covering his eyes in a slouched over position at the end of the bed. "What was I supposed to do?"

Sam didn't reply.

"I still got you, right Sam?" Dean asked. It wasn't even a statement. It was truly a question. He couldn't handle anyone else betraying him or letting him down.

Sam nodded, "I'll always be here for you Dean no matter what." He wrapped his arm around his brother. "Everything's going to be alright, Dean, it'll be okay."

"When is it ever okay, man? Let's stop pretending we have anything down this road, that we call our lives, other than a bloody death." Dean was shaking. He wanted to yell so badly, he wanted all the pain to just go away. He just wanted to forget it all. He looked at his brother's face, and then his lips. No. He just needed another drink. He couldn't, not with Sam. He tried reaching for the bottle, but Sam wouldn't let him have it.

"We're going to get out of this life Dean, one way or another. You're going to have kids and a family, and I am too. We're going to throw a pool party and we're going to have that Apple pie life." Sam told him.

Dean just shook his head and laughed humorlessly. "No we won't, I won't." Then he leaned in and kissed Sam.

Sam reeled back. "What're you doing!?" Dean didn't answer just kept looking at Sam's lips. They were soft and warm. He knew his brother liked him, and he could probably have him and Sam wouldn't mind.

Sam looked hopeless. What was he supposed to do? Should he really be contemplating having sex with his older brother, who clearly wanted him?

Dean looked up at Sam's face. He could always read some of what he was thinking, and he smiled a small smile at his brother. Dean laid his hand on Sam's thigh. "It doesn't have to be anything, Sammy. It's just me desperate to feel something." Dean's hand went up Sam's shirt pulled it off. "And you helping me out a little bit." Dean explained. Sam scooted closer to Dean to where Dean's hand was now on his pants where his dick was. He opened his legs a bit letting his brother rub on him.

Dean moved his eyes to signal to Sam he wanted him to lie down on the bed. Sam knew he should this. He loved Dean, and it wouldn't end the way he wanted, but at that moment he didn't care. He lay on the bed and Dean crawled on top of him. Sam lifted up his shirt and threw it off. Dean unbuttoned Sam's jeans and Sam kissed and sucked his neck. Dean then removed his pants and his boxers after. Sam did the same for Dean as Dean kissed him.

Dean lay in bed hands behind his head completely naked with a naked Sam using his chest as a pillow. "That was wrong wasn't it?" Sam asked.

Dean shrugged then kissed Sam's forehead, "It was fun though."

"I've always loved you that way Dean." Sam said. Dean smiled softly. He was glad his brother had wanted this, because he hadn't been sure if he was pressuring him or not. "But I know you don't love me.."

Dean wrapped his arm around Sam's waist and looked down to meet his eyes. "Of course I love you. Why would you think that?"

Sam sighed. "No you don't, you love me as a brother not a lover."

"What's the difference?" Dean asked.

Sam looked sad. "Nothing.." He knew it. He was just a means for Dean to be able to stop feeling the pain for a while, and since Sam wouldn't let him drink he fucked him. What should he have expected though? Dean had never felt that sort of love, and when he did he pretty much ran from it. The only person he hadn't run from ran from him.

"Sam-" Dean started to say, but Sam didn't let him finished he kissed him and wrapped his arms around his neck bringing him closer.

"Ready for another round?" Sam asked Dean smirked and sucked his neck making him moan.

Sam knew Dean would never love him like he loved Dean, but that was alright. This was enough, besides to be honest he was lucky he got this far. He never though his brother would be okay with something like this, but it wasn't the first time his brother was 'okay' with something that he was surprised about. Now that he thought about it Dean was never 'okay' with anything. Which meant this could be the last time they did this.

When he thought about that he kissed Dean harder and with as much love and desperation as ever. When he finished Dean pulled back surprised, finally realizing what his brother meant. Which meant he shouldn't be doing this. He'd be toying with his brother, and he couldn't do that to him. "Sam no.." He said as Sam went back for another kiss.

"Huh?" Sam asked confused.

"We can't do this.. I understand what you meant, and I can't do that to you." Dean explained.

Sam looked down. "But I want this," Sam said.

"Too much, and I just don't know if .. If I feel that way." Dean said and tilted Sam's head up to meet his eyes. If it would've been some girl he would've shrugged and fucked her anyway, but not his baby brother, he couldn't.

"Just this last time Dean, please." Sam pleaded. That's when Dean realized he'd already fucked up. It didn't matter if he did it again or not, he did it already. What was he supposed to do now?

"We .. can't .. I can't.." He sat up and was about to leave but Sam grabbed his hand begging him not to go. "Damn it, Sammy." He cursed. It just kept getting thrown back in his face that he had used his brother and hadn't even realized it. He knew Sam liked him from the ways he would look at him sometimes. He didn't know how much, or how long he had loved him. He just knew he did, and he took advantage of him for that just to get rid of his pain for a while. Now he felt like shit and a horrible brother. There was almost nothing you could do to mend a broken heart it took time, a lot of it, which was something they just didn't have. He wanted to bang his head on the wall. He looked at his baby brother sadly. He shook his head then went into the bathroom.

As he closed the door he could hear his brother start to cry. "Why did you do that Dean?" He asked himself. It didn't matter what he was doing, he always seemed to do it wrong and get others hurt in the process. He turned the shower on and stepped in.

**THE END ((( Review! If you want a sequel ask for one in review please :D)))**


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